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Online Romance and Friendship Scams

These scams can last months. The person seems caring and then has an emergency. Knowing the pattern helps you spot it early.

Step by step

  1. Be wary of fast intimacy. Very quick love or flattery.
  2. Notice the excuses. They cannot video chat or meet.
  3. Never send money. Even small.
  4. Search their photos. Try reverse image search.
  5. Tell a friend. Scammers rely on secrecy.

What to expect

Expect an attractive profile, quick declarations of affection, stories of work abroad or military service, and repeated reasons not to meet or video chat. Eventually comes a crisis requiring money.

Mistakes to avoid

Do not send money, gift cards or photos you would be embarrassed to see shared. Do not keep the relationship secret. Do not feel foolish if you were fooled.

A good next step

Tell a trusted person, stop contact, and report the profile to the platform and to the FTC.

The usual stages

  1. Contact. A friendly message or friend request from someone attractive, often with a profile that mentions work abroad, the military or a recent loss.
  2. Bonding. Daily messages, compliments and promises. The person moves the chat to a private app.
  3. Excuses. They cannot meet or video chat because of work, travel or a broken camera.
  4. The first request. A small amount of money for a ticket, medical bill or customs fee.
  5. Escalation. Larger and larger requests, often with threats of ending the relationship if you refuse.

Protect yourself

  • Search for the person's photos using reverse image search.
  • Insist on a live video call early on.
  • Never send money, gift cards or cryptocurrency to someone you have not met.
  • Be cautious about sharing intimate photos. They can be used for blackmail.
  • Tell a trusted friend what is going on. Scammers rely on secrecy.

If you have been targeted

  1. Stop sending money. Block the contact.
  2. Keep records. Save messages, usernames and payment receipts.
  3. Report. Report to the platform, the FTC at ReportFraud.ftc.gov and local police. If you paid by bank transfer, contact your bank immediately.
  4. Beware of recovery scams. People who offer to get your money back for a fee are scammers.
  5. Get support. Talk to someone. Feeling embarrassed is normal, but you did nothing wrong.

A prompt you can copy

Type this into ChatGPT, Claude or Gemini

I have been chatting online with someone who says they live abroad and now needs money for a medical bill. Tell me the red flags and what I should do.

Good to know. Anyone who truly cares will understand you saying no to money.

Want to try this with a friendly teacher?

Join a free live class on Zoom. Small group, no experience needed, no sign-up fee.

Reserve a free seat

Common questions

Is it my fault if I was fooled?

No. These scams are designed by professionals.

Who should I tell?

Family, your bank and the FTC.

How can I tell if someone is real?

A real person will agree to a live video call, will not ask for money and will have a verifiable presence.

Is it safe to date online?

Many people meet partners online. Choose reputable services and follow safety steps.

Why do these scams work?

They exploit our need for connection. Professional scammers are skilled at building trust.

Where can I find emotional support?

Friends, family, counselors and local support groups can help.

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